Will and i watched "30 Days" the other night while he was here -- that show by the dude who did "Supersize Me" and now goes around changing opinions and outlooks in one month or less -- and the episode we saw featured a grain-fed Michigan Army boy spending a month in the Castro, San Francisco, which is apparently The Gayest Place in Gaytown. Literally. GFMAB gets a Big Gay Roommate, a Big Gay Job, and pays several visits to MCC, the Big Gay Church.
First, i have to say i was really disappointed in the MCC's pastor's response to GFMAB's charge that homosexuality is a sin. Essentially, her grand retort was "you're hurting my feelings!" She said it was hurtful for him to suggest that in order to be godly and ... sin less, i guess, she'd have to break up her 13-year partnership and abandon her children. GFMAB responded essentially by saying, well, we're all sinners. And he has a point.
And allow me to point out that in no possible sense do i think being gay = sin. I seem to remember reading that the anti-gay verses in the Bible only read that way in certain translations. And i certainly agree that even if the text unassailably reads as a condemnation of homosexuality, absolutely no one on the planet lives by the Bible's precepts without some vetting, no matter how unacknowledged or unconscious. I mean, who kills their children for disobeying? And calls it Christian?
But anyway. My problem with the minister's reponse was that she
didn't choose to address GFMAB's substantive claims. Which was a shame, because he seemed to be fairly open to learning and accepting different interpretations of Biblical teachings -- provided they were well-explained and backed-up, which they just weren't, here. Part of that may have been (and i'm sure was) the fault of the editing, because who knows what they discussed when they weren't on camera or that didn't get aired. But i think the minister really missed out on the chance to make a difference in his belief system by not offering more convincing and logical arguments.
At one point she did ask him to consider for a minute what would happen if the Bible told him sex with women was sinful -- would he be able to turn it off and be attracted only to men? He said, totally not. And ... she let his response lie there and just looked at him, like, you
see? No follow-up on exploring what that means about whether same-sex attraction is a choice (which GFMAB seemed to believe it is) or an innate (which is undoubtedly the truth). And as irrational as i am, even i found that technique unconvincing. She had an excellent chance to explore with him then what it means for God to have created a substantial portion of humans with an immutable characteristic that the Bible "
defines" (found it!) as "sinful." And ... nothing.
Anyway. That whole episode got me to thinking about what i (would, theoretically) look for in a church. In theory i think the MCC is awesome, because it not only manages to be inclusive of diverse lifestyles, it makes a point of equating Christianity with such inclusiveness. And a large part of why i've never been able, as an adult, to get behind Christianity is honestly that so many Christians use the church and the Bible to exclude people and populations they personally find distasteful. (Witness
www. godhatesfags.com.) As trite and overprocessed as it sounds, the bumper stickers that say "Jesus, protect me from your followers" sort of sum it up.
Which makes churches like the MCC and the Unitarians really palatable to me, because part of their mission and foundation is inclusivity and emphasizing caring and love over criticizing other people's behavior (Fred Phelps, i'm looking at you). In college -- well, at TIP -- i used to take kids to the Unitarian church in Durham every week in summer, and on a certain level i really connected to the message, but then again, those services echoed the problem i had with the MCC preacher on "30 Days": They can't get past the meta of the message. They're doing such good things -- donations to charity, literacy classes, outreach to the homeless -- but they can't stop talking about how charitable and loving and inclusive and awesome they are.
I'm not trying to say that churches like the Unitarians
aren't awesome, because god knows they do plenty of wonderful things. My problem, i guess, is that what i'm looking for in a church service isn't so much a discussion of the benefits of loving thy neighbor but something more ...
spiritual. I mean, if i want to love my neighbor i'll buy the guy on the M street bridge a cup of coffee; i go to church (or ... would) to work on connecting with God, or The Great Whatever. I choose a church in part because of its underlying philosophy, and those communities pretty much exactly mirror what i think churches should model. (And it goes without saying that i think Westboro makes the Baby Jesus cry.) But... that's just a given for me:
of course God loves The Gays; that's not what i want to hear from the pulpit. Tell me how to get in touch with God, because that's what i need help finding.
